So, the past couple of days have been intense. The good thing is that my bday is on Friday and though I'm not completely looking forward to it, at least it's something to look forward to. TS is making me my favorite meal (he's a really good cook) and maybe we'll go to the baseball game.

I heard from MB today. I haven't heard from him in a long time. I wonder what he wants. Is it bad that I immediately think that he wants something? When I first met him, my first thought was that I was going to marry him. I don't know what that says about me.

I told KP that I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. That's partially true. I just can't handle thinking about him being with her. It's too hard. I really don't have any desire to try and keep this friendship going.

I myself am an emotional wreck when it comes to this stuff. I never told my mom any of this stuff and though I no longer really believe in an afterlife, sometimes I wonder if she tsk tsks at all my mistakes and failures. I know better than what I do. I miss her.